Apr 28th, 2013
As I started my meditation the other morning I was having difficulty in focusing on my breath and moving past the inner noise of thoughts and the general haze of having just woken up. As I slowly deepened my breathing I became aware of the tensions in my body, especially in my shoulders and neck. Noticing my burdens, and suddenly feeling a sense of responsibility for so much that I needed to do, wanted to do or hadn’t done, I realized that I had lately become quite strongly identified with not only my own personal processes, but also with the undercurrent of feelings of millions of other people on this planet at this time. Suddenly I was in overwhelm… trapped and fearful. Breathe again…more deeply this time. I started to pray.
In my prayers I only asked to experience more wisdom, more guidance, deeper peace. I wanted more clarity about why I was here, and what I could do to serve. Still, the feeling of overwhelm persisted. Breathing again deeply, I just stopped verbalizing and waited. Finally, I found I could follow my breaths and relax a bit more. Sensing some kind of pressure growing inside, I remained with my breath. Then, I had a remembrance of an affirmation that I’d read a long time ago in a book by Florence Scovel Shinn. Softly I mouthed the words…”I now release all of my burdens to the Christ within me, and I walk away unencumbered and free.” Instantly I felt the presence of Love from within and without, filling me with a profound reassurance and acceptance. I then sensed more than heard a quiet voice say “It’s okay to ask for what you need Isaac.” A few tears escaped as I realized how much I am cared for by this profound and loving Presence. I had to give up my defensive position and demands for guidance and wisdom before I could receive a larger blessing. A few moments later the quiet voice reminded me to forgive myself for all of my perceptions of failures, mistakes or missed opportunties in my past. This was a bit more difficult, but I eventually surrendered the judgments and regrets I’d been holding on to or felt shame about. The rest of that morning was transformed by Grace into more energy, more enthusiasm, and a willingness to share more from my heart. For a time, my worries, concerns and preoccupations were quieted.
Only a few days have elapsed since this gentle reminder, and already I am noticing how I am returning to some of most basic wisdoms and practices that I embraced in the years following my spiritual wake-up call in 1994. I’ve complicated my life in too many ways, especially in the spiritual sense. Just a few days before this epiphany happened, I had been with my chiropractor. I went seeking relief from a locked-up muscle underneath the right shoulder. What I ended up going through were some core issues around fear, anxiety, insecurities and grief that was the ulterior cause for the pain and constriction. My chiropractor is a multi-faceted guy, very intuitive and also an energy healer. The session revealed to me how much I am impacted by the world’s dramas, as well as the various electromagnetic and geopathic stresses the planet is undergoing. This wasn’t news to me.
Ever since the years 1999-2000, I’ve been extremely sensitive to Solar storms, major astrological transits and geomagnetic activity, and I’ve also become very aware of tuning in to the emotional content of events before they happen. I feel like a tuning fork, resonating to sounds I don’t hear physically. Once, while I was staying at an eco-lodge on the slopes of Mt. Shasta in northern California I woke up in the middle of the night to discover I’d been crying in my sleep…and didn’t understand why. This happened at 3am both times. Two days later September 11th, 2001 happened. Similar emotional-energetic episodes have preceded every major event since then, especially the ones caused by humans. Prior to the bombings in Boston this past April 15th I also felt anxiety and deep cathartic grief and tension in my body from an unknown cause. All of this only serves as a reminder to me that as we move more and more into universal awareness; it all becomes more personal as well. My chiropractor kindly reminded me that there is an epidemic of fear, grief and anxiety rippling through the collective consciousness of humanity, and that no one is immune to this. He reminded me to balance my sensitivity with a solid set of practices and intentions that are simple and effective. Taking walks and having sea salt baths, engaging in simple meditation and grounding or ‘earthing’. Good food, rest and staying open to my experience. Cuddles…lots of cuddles and snuggles with humans and pets. Simple…so simple.
Others that I have interacted with, or from stories that filter through to me, are mirroring many of the same types of experiences. Many people are responding to the stresses in different ways. Some can’t stand to be on a computer very long, or suddenly detest their cell phone. It’s as if the chaotic emotions from all over the world are collected and amplified through the Internet and artificial electronic grid. Ours mind don’t come equipped with firewalls, and we immersed into the morphogenetic field of consensus reality like never before in human history. The internet is the ‘innernet’ of our minds and our physical neurological network externalized. This is the basis of telepathy and human empathic awareness. Some easy reminders for disengaging from our beloved gadgets is to take breaks from them, little and often, and do some stretches, spray yourself with an aromatherapy spray, get your feet out on to the lawn or in some sand. Obtain some kind of EMF protection for your cell or mobile phone, laptop, WIFI router, etc. , and reduce or eliminate watching television network news and mainstream entertainment programming. We are all responsible for our own energy and attitudes, but we are irresponsible when we think we have to attempt to do this all alone.
Have we become so suspicious of authentic surrender in the spiritual sense, that we have equated it as a giving away of power to an outside authority? Only if we still are still hypnotized by our habituated belief of a Divinity that only resides ‘out there’ somewhere. It is essential to remember that fear or mistrust cuts us off from others. There is a growing awareness of our inherent ‘oneness’. Therefore, we must act in that manner, and reach out to others – to give and receive mutual support, intimacy, closeness, sharing and encouragement. When we are vulnerable and emotionally open with others, we feel ‘seen’ and we really see others with new eyes. Instead of reinforcing our wounds and recycling our stories, our mutuality creates a ground of safety where we can touch each other in a space of sacred intimacy.
Therefore, allow for Life (God, Source, Spirit, Love) to provide for you. Asking for what we need or desire is not a sign of weakness or disempowering. It is the gateway to allowing the Universal Mind assist us in the highest way possible.
When we are able to surrender our strategies, our agendas, our fears and hopes to the Teacher within, then we enter into Grace. To become impatient is to be grasping. To open your hand in gratitude, and receive that which is freely given empowers us to give freely to others. Life orders our journey again…doors can open, hearts can heal. Trust is not easy in a world preoccupied with a desire for gain, and the fear of loss. To trust in the highest within us is the beginning of joy and peace. No matter what is going on in the world right now, you have a choice – control or surrender. Choose wisely. Choose Life. Choose to let go into trust.