September 6th, 2016
About six weeks into the year 1994 I had some extraordinary events conspire to create an equally extraordinary experience that literally and figuratively changed my life. The esoteric version is that what seemingly happened to me was a classic case of a phenomena known in certain shamanic traditions as “being touched by the gods.” In the Hindu tradition it’s known as a kundalini awakening. According to Stanislav Grof, M.D (who developed the Holotropic Breathwork technique), it falls into a classification he refers to as “spiritual emergency, or emergence”. No matter what label one assigns to a massive and sudden shift in perspective (and one’s previous life circumstances) the actual experience is completely unhinging and full of unknowns. Within two months my wife at that time insisted that I go in for some sort of mental health help. This felt a bit embarrassing to me at first, but my newfound inner voice said to go with it.
During the next three months as this paranormal shift deepened, I launched into an investigation of my psyche and emotions. I saw my primary psychologist once, or sometimes twice a week. She also recommended I join a men’s group at the facility. The facilitator of this group had a pet saying to encourage us when we felt overwhelmed or became less than satisfied with our ‘progress’.
“The journey is the accomplishment”, he would intone, and suddenly the pressure would lift, and be replaced with a spaciousness that was remarkable. Within that spaciousness we became observers of our constantly shifting set of feelings, thoughts and perspectives. Of course, an hour or two later, back in the real world, some of this lucidness would succumb to the demands of life, but the effects became accumulative. By mid-June my primary therapist had decided to discharge me, as she felt that I’d become competent enough to steer my way forward without tripping up. All during this process, my inner voice would counsel me as well, indicating what was available to share in therapy, while carefully avoiding any of the more profound paranormal or spiritual experiences that may have triggered an intervention by the medical establishment that would be chemical-based. In the end, I felt much better equipped to cope and to move forward, and so I am grateful that I did engage with the psychological services at a time that I now refer to as my 3rd major awakening (and the most profound) of this lifetime.
Over the course of the past few days that spanned the total Solar Eclipse on September 1st I’ve became more acutely aware of the most precious gifts and skills that I have to share and how I can give them to others in a balanced and empowering way. Hopefully playfully as well. As of this writing my awareness is still unfolding organically about what it means, but for someone that has had so many careers, interests and skills over one lifetime, it’s sometimes very challenging to see the core of what it is at any given moment. Perhaps the most important thing or quality that are unique to one’s own soul is always enticing us to keep going, to push on through to the essential meaning of ourselves. Using this knowing in order to express it in some effective way which can not only impact others positively, but transform one’s own direct experience at the same time, is now the task in front of my nose. The most important thing I feel to share with you here is that we scarcely have much of a chance in these times to take stock of where we are in retrospect with where we’ve arrived from.
We all have a story, a legacy of experience that stretches into the distant past. Our perception of time is the key to how we arrange this story. In fact, there is a distinct possibility that we are all involved in the creation and management of time. For an interesting read about this notion, click on this: https://www.brainpickings.org/2016/04/27/time-felt-marc-wittmann/
Our stories are based on experiences in various times and dimensions, and perhaps for some of us, across countless worlds or dimensions. However, to keep it manageable, let’s just engage with our humanness, our earthly sagas. What was revealed to me post-Eclipse this past Thursday was not a concept, idea or philosophy. It was a visceral and immediate knowing about the sanctity and enormity about the struggles, growth and accomplishments I've been through over the past two years or so. Once the full impact of this was unveiled, I saw my whole life from my earliest years stretched behind me, and in a sort of fast-moving vignette I felt the power of my various successes and failures, joys and sorrows, ecstasies as well as times of depression and doubt, and all mingled into this was every person I’ve known and each relationship I’ve been part of. I was humbled...big time.
Waves of compassion for who I am beyond all of this was in harmony with the range of the experiences themselves, and I could begin to understand that these moments, all connected one to another, are the stuff our Souls are made from. We will always carry these memories with us forever, for they have molded and shaped Who We Are. To say there is only the Now is not entirely accurate. The past is still influencing us, and our present is always informing the formation of our futures. In the lyrics of Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Future Games’ – “We create the future that we want to face…” So true it is. But without our personal Soul story, our His and Herstory, there is no Big Story within the Cosmos. We may well wonder what is the ultimate purpose of existence considering such a perspective. Perhaps its all just an experiment to explore and experience everything and anything that is possible, in order for us to eventually move to another mode of evolution in which there is even more to create and experience. Possibly. From this brief but powerful series of moments I felt the touch of the Infinite, and how it permeates all of Time, and the deepest most personal spaces inside of each one of us.
Between today as you read this, and the Lunar Eclipse on September 16th we have an opportunity to not just “let go” of what we deem no longer serves us, or which we see as obstacles that may be in the way of where it is we want to go, and who we wish to become. This process has nothing to do with the Moon's cycle, but is related to another one, the Saturn-Neptune square, that last exact moment of which occurs tomorrow. It's lasted almost a year, and has been a real challenge for many.
Perhaps what arises is just the recycled pain, trauma and judgment we have need of reconciling, after which we can then see the greater wisdom of our stories and how we are all heroes and heroines within them - fearless and eternal…full of love, hopes, dreams and immense aspirations. I certainly desire this feeling I touched and which touched me for all beings, for I found within it the true basis for loving myself unconditionally, and all without any sense of shame or self-centeredness. In fact, it only awakened in me a stronger notion of my purpose and how much I desire everyone else to taste the true freedom they so deserve and desire. The freedom to just be…to just be all of themselves, full stop.
And here’s something that must be said at this juncture. Consider the possibility that all of this just…goes…on. Ad infinitum. Forever. No crossing a finish line or standing in the winner’s circle. No ‘retirement’ from being the being that you are being. How do I know this? I don’t, it's just a guess. However, that’s just part of the Mystery, isn’t it? We’ll get to find out…as we go along. And not one moment sooner. So perhaps the sooner we recognize this, the sooner we can see it’s all an experiment and we’re all just playing around. Or, something like that.
Take some time to reflect these next weeks, on the amazing journey you’ve been on. Take some time for self-appreciation and honoring your journey, and also those with whom you have spent time with during it. Take the time to sit with the enormity of what you’ve overcome or achieved, and have the greatest compassion for all those times you loved, and lost, or tried and failed. There is no such thing as real failure, and no true love is ever lost. Each and every one of our triumphs and our defeats, or good deeds and our mistakes, are indelibly part of the work of Soul Art that you are. Can you love all of it, all of you? We are all called to this most sacred of tasks, for in doing so, we love and honor that which created us from Love Itself.
This is the nugget of all things, and it resides in one eternal precept. The journey is the accomplishment.
I am an intuitive spiritual mentor, guide and evolutionary soul-based astrologer. I am a catalyst for change and growth. I compassionately hold space for you to discover and celebrate your Soul-Self, your unique beingness. I specialize in the areas of spiritual emergence/awakening and assisting others to find ways to heal their relationship with themselves and with their partners and to fully embrace their sexuality. I currently reside in the UK and have a worldwide clientele spanning over two decades of service. If you would like more information about how I may assist you, or if you wish to book a free Discovery call with me or have any questions about my services, please click here to visit my website, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. UK Ph: +44 07875 123406. Skype @ dolphinboy999.
Thank you and I look forward to cocreating with you!