Changes continue to bubble up, some of them gentle, and some not so gentle. I feel like I am on the inside of a pressure cooker, and at some point the lid will be unlatched, and I'll explode into some new form...of formlessness. Not all of these sensations are accompanied by the deep emotions and letting go that I experienced in the wake of my kundalini awakening between 1994 and 1998. No, this is quite different, and more dynamically keyed towards a more self-actualized state of being. As such, I feel that I am to come out more fully into the world to share the vision I have of Spirit, and not seek for myself in any more inside books, or methodology, or other teachers and healers.
The very function and nature of human relationships is changing for me, and I feel that you may also sense the need to change the perceptions about our reasons for relating to others. I feel that it is still essential to honor the deep presence of Spirit in others, as well as all of Creation, but without the projections we have all been habitually accustomed to. It will become more important to delve deeper into the relating with one's own Spirit, and the Absoluteness that it represents, and cease using relationships as a substitute for this most primary of all relationships. I remember too many times in which I have betrayed my sovereignty for acknowledgment, security, adoration, comfort, agreement, compromise, acceptance and what I thought was love. The external can and does reflect these experiences back to us, but have we ever questioned what keeps us all looking for ourselves 'out there'? The common responses are; 'my ego', or unresolved childhood issues with one parent or another, or perhaps a past life issue, or the original 'fall' and loss of innocence. There are mega-billion dollar industries designed to encourage and support us in the search and acquisition of relationship nirvana, and yet it still eludes us. Have you ever wondered why? Even though the consumer culture has created a narcissistic obsession with the love of things, it has also excelled in reducing the relationship, or rather the search for the 'perfect' relationship, to one of the most important acquisitions we can aspire to. This may be the ultimate narcissistic fantasy, the narcotic of self-validation through The Other. As Neo learned in The Matrix, just as there is no spoon, there is no 'other'.
One of the revelations that came about the other morning over breakfast with my partner Lynn was the role of magnetism in the realm of relationships. This also has to do with a more controversial subject I will be dealing with more in depth soon, which is about the less than benign influence of certain objects affecting the planetary magnetics. However, consider for a moment the primary symbol of romantic love in mostly modern times - Earth's moon.
Consider the possibility that the magnetic force exerted by the Moon (which NASA discovered to be many times stronger than initially postulated) has created and perpetuated part of the primary tendency of human beings to project their subconscious self-image onto other people. Magnetism is the basis of analogue and digital copying and data storage, from magnetic tape to CD's and hard disk drives. Magnetics is the basis of memory, so when we talk about why did I have this or that experience repeated, it is because of magnetic memory. So, you can stop beating yourself up now. The solution will not be found by having more willpower, or taking another workshop. The solution is found in reconnection to a higher order of reality. More on that later...
Since the mirror game most consistently happens when we're 'non-conscious' (it is a very lunar-oriented psychological condition) we seldom are in a place of observing it in action. However, the suffering and pain of gaining and losing love in relationship after relationship creates a flicker of awareness, a certain awakening that all is not as real as it was described in the romance novels, films and Hallmark greeting cards. What happened, we wonder, to true love?
The Moon reflects light, but is not the Light. It is a dead orb. It may hold secrets that we have scant knowledge of, knowledge that may be the key to understanding the human condition. Why then have we been so easy to adopt it as a symbol of romantic love? We look for our mirror then fail to see ourselves in it as we really are. We become enraptured with our image of the other person, and lose ourselves in them. The only thing that changes is the degree with which we allow ourselves to slip into the dreamlike trance.
The mirror game is going to become more intense, because as we hear and feel the call to transcend that this energy of passing through the plane of the Galactic Center demands of us, then we will become less and less hypnotized by the old patterns, the old projections and the sense of need that used to drive us to look elsewhere for love. It will also dissolve the obsessive pattern of self-reduction that occurs when we are abused by others and then explain it all away as 'being our own damn fault'. This is not always the case, and constantly re-identifying demonstrated destructive attitudes and behaviours as 'our own' may actually add to the dysfunctional mirror game. This is not love, but self-abuse, which perpetuates the cycle, a cycle that cannot be healed through psychoanalysis.
We are being called upon to rise into a new understanding of Love, a new demonstration of lovingness. This demonstration is based on self-responsibility. Yes, some of the reflecting we receive from others is reflecting the patterns that we call 'our stuff'. But to identify with it is to become it, and that doesn't serve anyone, and it certainly can't be called Love.
Am I against relationship and human intimacy? Absolutely not! If I am against it, then I will be perpetuating suffering. It is important to accept completely where I am, where you are, first. Then the possibility of transcendence through Grace instead of effort and struggle comes forward. The dance of Tantric potencies is at the heart of Creation, and cannot be denied. Denial and repression are part and parcel of why the human condition is a condition in the first place. We've learned to control and restrict by virtue of the genetic imprint that we deserve to be controlled and manipulated. That too, is another story for another time, but all you have to do is read a bit about the state of human DNA and it is revealed that we're are not yet an integral biological species. Some of our software is faulty. other parts of it are offline altogether. It is better to come into the enjoyment of anything as consciously as possible, including relating to another human being. A long time ago it was shared with me via a channeling I did from St. Germain that if you desire to play in the realm of limitation then do it as consciously as possible. Wise words, but not always easy to remember
Ultimately, we are Love. We are the Light. Even in this mutant paradigm, the dance of duality, the pristine emanations of the Divine Matrix are available to be accessed, enjoyed and celebrated. It is to be found in Nature, in the arts, and in the beauty of seeing it in the eyes of another, whether human or animal. It is our right to say, "I belong here, and I create here." However, there is no reflection that is pure enough to bring this truth to us directly, except from and through a deep desire to discover it from within ourselves and to dwell in it continually. The truth is in our own hearts. We are immortal and infused in Infinite Love, for in it we live and move and have our being. It is this that is the truth of our existence. There are still many layers that appear to keep us from knowing this core truth in ourselves, but it is inevitable that to each one that so desires it, they will realize it.
One of the truer statements that about our awakening to the True Love within us, is from the Apostle Paul in 13 Corinthians (Aramaic translation):
"If I shall speak with every human and Angelic language and have no love in me, I shall be clanging brass or a noise-making cymbal. And if I have prophecy, and I know all mysteries and all knowledge and if I have all faith so that I may remove mountains, and I have no love in me, I would be nothing. And if I should feed everything that I have to the poor, and if I hand over my body to be burned up and I have no love in me, I gain nothing.
Love is patient and sweet; love does not envy; love is not upset neither puffed up. Love does not commit what is shameful, neither does it seek its own; it is not provoked, neither does it entertain evil thoughts, rejoices not in evil, but rejoices in the truth, endures all things, believes all things, hopes all, bears all.
Love never fails; for prophecies shall cease, tongues shall be silenced and knowledge will be nothing; for we know partially and we prophesy partially, but when perfection shall come, then that which is partial shall be nothing. When I was a child, I was speaking as a child, I was led as a child, I was thinking as a child, but when I became a man, I ceased these childish things. Now we see as in a mirror, in an allegory, but then face-to-face. Now I know partially, but then I shall know as I am known. For there are these three things that endure: Faith, Hope and Love, but the greatest of these is Love."
P. S. This is an interesting poem by someone named Arcana about mirrors:
"I'm in a hall of mirrors
All I see is endless me
Stretching to infinity
These endless me's I see
Do I see immediate future
Or is it the recent past
Maybe it's just the present
How long do moments last?
The faces I've seen before
But are they really me
Or is it just a joke
Played by reality
I see what they are thinking
Or is that only me
Their contemplative stares
Echo to eternity
If I look a little harder
Are they really all the same
Maybe one is different
In their never ending game
They follow my every move
Like ripples on a lake
With split second timing
It's hard to spot a fake
What is it that I'm seeing
Among these clones of me
Is it me who's the reflection
And it's endless me's they see
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